Processing the Culture of Silence Surrounding Child Sexual Abuse

(A personal take on processing the silence surrounding child sexual abuse as a professional.)

The culture of silence surrounding Child Sexual Abuse and Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse is simple yet multi-faceted… Silence is the predator’s greatest weapon. So, with silence, the child weeps, and the predator smirks. So, with silence, another child’s essence is stolen without justice or prevention. Silence empowers the predator, weaponizes shame, and prevents us from protecting children. Add a pinch of cognitive dissonance and this is how we enable child predators.

There are differing aspects to the culture of silence within our society, and I remember all the experiences of silence and shame within my personal life.

I did not however, expect to face professional shame…

And, like most things that bother me deeply, I process as I do. Even as a professional, the culture of silence is relevant and entwined in the vast web of shame.  

I’ve been asked what my niche is within my newly budding career. Society cannot help but comment with their seriously indoctrinated stigma surrounding CSA.

Below are comments I receive after being asked what I do:

How do you sleep at night?

Gross, I can’t think about that stuff.

But you have children!

I can’t hear about stuff like that.

That’s probably not healthy for you.

Are you sure you can handle that type of work?

Why would you want to do something like that?

I could never.

The list above is mild. I am not resentful of these people because I am a healed version of myself. But I do recognize their responses as a large part of the problem.

For us I will say this: You perpetuate victim SHAME when you respond like the comments above.

PTSD and C-PTSD is triggered when you implicate yourself as one of the "lucky ones" with these types of comments. CSA affects people from ALL walks of life, and you never know what someone has been through.

Silence deters victims who are on a journey to disclosure, which is often one of the first steps to healing.

What would be a better response? Are you a bullet in the weapon of silence?

And for little Ashley,

You’ve transcended your abuse, and I couldn’t do this without you.